Missed

There are so many moments in life in which we tend to think, “I’ve missed out.” Daily occurrences of these for me include public transport. Namely busses. Missed the bus. The bus not taken etc.

Today I felt justified that I had chosen wisely in skipping the one which would get me most of the way in order to wait for the one that would take me all the way. I thought I had waited an age but then the “ideal” bus arrived and as we rounded the corner in town what was sitting there stuck at a light?!? The first bus I’d missed on purpose.

There has been lots of talk (arguing) and drama (deeply felt emotion) in my circle of friends around the film La La Land. I’d not seen it so went in order to form an opinion of my own (and cause I had a feeling I would like it). I went by myself, a first time for me, and found it so refreshing. It was fun to experience a film with no one else’s thoughts or emotions nudging my own. I took full advantage of the space and let my own thoughts and emotions spill over into the seats either side of me.

Most people who want to see it will have seen it by now so don’t think I’m ruining it for anyone. The film in my mind has two halves the first half is a sunshine, song filled daydream the type of interaction and life that often plays out in our thoughts and emotions. In reality we know from experience that it often looks and works out quite different – which is the second half of the film.

Now I said different and different is not necessarily worse. I know already your mind will be travelling down a “missed” trail of pitfalls and disappointments, coming up against arguments between optimism, ideals and reals. But I want you to just pause where ever you are and try and assume that there are no missed. That just because you hoped and dreamed one thing – or ideally would like… (fill in the gap) that that does not mean that if it doesn’t work out like you imagined that you missed anything at all. And in your pausing please do not turn around either and try go back to when something was as you hoped and wanted. Back to a situation or relationship that used to be life giving and full.

I have lived in over eight cities and towns across the UK and South Africa. Been part of schools, communities and organisations in each one. Made friends and alienated a few people (oops). Sometimes I catch myself going back to a place and time, picking up where I left, wondering what that relationship could have turned into or if I would still be living in that house and what job I would have… It is somewhat entertaining but mostly unhelpful. And completely imaginary.

Are imaginations are powerful, amazing parts of us. The world of possibilities and creativity is very needed – it works itself out in beautiful real ways in our lives, jobs and communities.

So please walk bold and hopeful! Dream day and night. Hopes and dreams are life giving. Just don’t let that life be stolen from you when the conclusion is not the one you dreamnt up. In that moment switch your hope and imagination back on – tune into the possibilities that are yet to unfold! Different, not worse, perhaps it will even work out better than you previously could have imagined.

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